What a great weekend! I am exhausted but the exhaustion that I am facing is well worth the weekend that I had. It was busy, yet relaxing all in one. I’ve got 3 weeks until I have to go back to work and I plan to enjoy every last minute of it. I’ve only got 2 weeks until my august mini starts and then 2.5 weeks until I start my last semester of my masters. I never thought I’d make it this far and I dont know if I’ll make it to the end, but I’ll sure try…and to think that I want to earn a doctorate one day….I’ve got high expectations!

I’m tired of being patient! Is that bad? Maybe that means God is gonna make me wait even longer. Ok, maybe I’m not tired of being patient.

I went to my classroom today and boy do I have some work to do. I’ve got my work cut out thats for sure!

This is an old blog but I wanted to move it from myspace to here. Enjoy!

I’m not usually a deep blogger but tonight i had some deep thoughts so i thought maybe i’d get some opinions. You’ll have to remember that I am not a writer…i am a teacher and the writing I do consists of 3 sentences at a time. Therefore, forgive my poor writing skills, lol!

While eating dinner tonight at Freebirds, I noticed a pretty nice looking guy walked by outside and he got me thinking….not about him. What makes someone beautiful/gorgeous/handsome in todays society? Why do we look at someone and immediately judge them on the way they look? I’m not even referring to girl/guy relationships. Why do we look at someone and get the perception in our mind that they are a good person or a bad person based on the way they look? When girls look at a guy, what makes that person absolutely gorgeous? And same for guys, what makes a girl stunning? I know we’ve all heard over and over that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and i’ll have to agree with that, but why does America pay so much attention to appearance? People weren’t like that 30 years ago. And back in the day people had different standards when they were referred to as beautiful/handsome…why do people now look at someone as beautiful only if they have golden brown skin, 5′7″, size 6, and blonde hair. Like I said, i know not everyone likes that look because beauty is different to everyone, but seeing that so called “hot” guy at dinner just made me think “what makes him hot to me and the rest of the girls that think he’s hot?”

Here’s my next thought…Why is it that when we look at a person, we immediately judge that person and choose whether or not that is someone we want to get to know. I think I may be repeating myself a little bit, but you’ll get over it, ha!. What i’m trying to say is (and i’m guilty of this too) when you look at someone and think they might look snobby, why do we always make that assumption that they are? I’ve met many people that look like the rudest people ever, but when i’ve taken the time to get to know them and not just judged them on the way they look, they are the funniest, sweetest people ever. Sometimes I guess I feel like people look at me when I don’t talk to them and think that i’m stuck up, when in reality, i’m just extremely shy around people I dont know…they would never know that if they didn’t get to know me. They would always have that snotty nosed percepetion about me. When I first met some of my best friends, i had preconcieved notions about them, but once i got over that, i found out that they were amazing people. Why do we judge in the first minute that we meet someone and its usually on the way they look? It’s like the salespeople at nordstroms…if you aren’t dressed a certain way, good luck at getting some help. They don’t know you have 10 credit cards in your wallet and you are ready to buy a new wardrobe, they just know that you don’t have that certain “look” that you should have to shop in norstroms. I know i’m kinda rambling here so i’ll move on to my next thought……why do we need validation from society on some silly website, to tell whether we are “hot or not.” I mean I know it makes us feel good to see that people are rating us as “hot” but really, why in the world do we need to be approved by our appearance by half of the crazy internet people out there…i know that half of you reading this know exactly what i’m talking about so you can’t deny putting your picture on hotornot, lol.

One last thought….why is it that we put our selves in different “dating brackets.” We put ourselves on a scale depending on our looks. When we see someone that we might be interested in, we check ourselves and them to see how close we are on the “dating ladder” and we immediately tell ourselves that they are out of our league. Or if someone shows interest in us that we feel is out of our league, we wonder how much someone paid them, or what in the world they see in us. I know i’m not the only one that has felt that way. We see ourselves as one way and feel like we appear that way to everyone else. We are so critical and don’t see how someone that is “out of our league” might be interested in us in the slightest. We forget that there are decent people out their that look at our personalities and not just whether we have that certain look.

Why are things so complicated and why do we feel like if we don’t look a certain way, then we aren’t beautiful or handsome? I can assure that I have many friends that are absolutely gorgeous and many aquaintences that are stunning and not a single one of them looks the same. Society has painted this picture in our minds about what we should look like….we are all critical of ourselves, some more than others and I will admit that I am one of the critical ones. Not so much critical of others but of myself and I owe it to society. As much as people tell you to forget about what others think, i think its impossible to do that 100% of the time because of that mental image society has painted.

***What are your thoughts? I know that you don’t like to comment on here, but if you don’t comment on any of my other blogs, i value your opinion on any or all of my thoughts ***

So I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days, and I’m convinced that its definitely the wrong time to be thinking too much. My problem is that I have nothing to do except think so that’s what I spend all day doing. Then I start analyzing and then coming up with crazy thoughts and it ends up not being good. I had a great conversation yesterday with a great friend who really encouraged me. Sometimes you just need people to vent to, that will just listen and be a friend. I’m so glad I have so many of those encouraging people in my life, that aren’t just aquaintances but true friends that know my heart, know my desires, know my aches and pains that I deal with on a day to day basis. They mean the world to me and I love them. They don’t judge me or make me feel like there is something about me that needs to be changed. They support me and help me see that I am completey perfect in God’s eyes and He loves me unconditionally. They pray for me and my heart. They keep me accountable. They love me! If I’ve learned anything at all this week, its to trust God completely and be patient. He knows what’s best whether it’s what I want or not.